Val (Zebedee) Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkyries Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 erm lol no idea xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 ROFLMAO. . . Every one an absolute truth. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Miss Bump Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! The other question is.....why-in supermarkets do they make the sick people walk to the back of the store for the pharmacy but have the ciggie counter at the front???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbb23 Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 PMSL!!!! OMG oh so true! He He Ha Ha x x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather&Dolcie Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 PMSL!!! love them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 lmao these r wkd lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 ROFLMAO!! These are excellent!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 Those are great. They made me think of Andy Rooney from 60 minutes. He always has a question that seems to make no sense, then expounds on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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