AnnaB Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 My sister sent me this ages ago, and it never fails to make me chuckle "Driving to work this morning there was a woman behind me in a BMW doing 90mph while putting her eyeliner on. I looked away, then looked again and she was halfway over the white line. It scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand. Trying to steer the car with my knees knocked the mobile phone from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, which splashed and burnt my balls, causing me to scream and drop the fag out of my mouth which ruined my shirt....F****** WOMEN DRIVERS!!" And another one she sent me about bscuits, which I think is quite clever, lol... "There's been a big bust up in the biscuit tin! A bandit called Rocky, who was Crackers hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Riband, kidnapped a trophy and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. The police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight by a Viscount from Maryland Hobnobbing a Ginger Nut. Unfortunately they have not got a crumb of evidence! (the Jammie Dodger got away)" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 LOL the first one is old but still true. . . The second one quite clever. . . Mad me n me workmates laff. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparks Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 haha, awesome !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparks Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 what about this 1 lol ..... A lady in her late 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The doctor told her of a new procedure called "The dial" where a small dial is planted on the back of the head and can be turned to tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a facelift. Of course, the woman wanted "The dial", had the surgery and all was well. Fifteen years later the woman went back to the surgeon. "All these years everything had been working just fine.", she started, "I've had to turn the dial on lots of occasions and I've loved the results. But I seemed to have developed two annoying problems with my face." "Go on" the doctor said. "First of all", she continued, "I've got these terrible bags under my eyes and the dial won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her and said, "I'm afraid those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She replied, "Ah, I guess that explains the goatee." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaB Posted April 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 LOL i like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 rofl those r just tooo funny hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid_Wolf Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Lol brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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