Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,

[Sibe77]

1.

Between 11 June and 11 July 22010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of

what is going on regarding thee World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail

too do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not

receiving any attention.

2.

During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the

remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3.

If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and

without distracting me.

4.

During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to e at. You are out

off your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer thee telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell

on the floor....It won't happen.

5.

It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to

nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over

too watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6amm, unless they replay a good

game that I missed during the day.

6.

Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is loosing, DO NOTT say "get over it, it's only a

game", or "don’t worry, they'll win next time"". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love

you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and you’re so called "words of

encouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7.

You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the

commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game;

hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse too "spend time together".

8.

The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see

them again, Manny times.

9.

Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my

attendance because:

a)) I will not go,

) I will not go, and

c)) I will not go.

10.

But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11.

The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even

think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we can all

watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12.

And finally, plea se save your expressions such as "Thank Good the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to

these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League,, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish

League, KPL, FAA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.

P//S

By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AAA.

Thank you for your cooperation.

[AnnaB]

ROFL thats too funny! had to add rep for that one :biggthumpup:

[ade hill]

is there something to do with football this year then?

[Dunc]

Am sorry I fail to see why this is in the joke section of the board after 30 years I dont think I need to show Sue this, she knows

[AnnaB]

LOL I'm not a footy/soccer fan at all and even I found it funny I'm more of a rugby/ formula 1 fan. Can't remember half the rules of rugby but I enjoy watching it all the same lol

[jayt]

Eww Soccer.

[Sarah]

If Marc dared to do this to me it'd be the last thing he ever did

[Dunc]

If Marc dared to do this to me it'd be the last thing he ever did

Yeah right